What I found in the wilderness

March 27, 2010

I felt the heat of the water fill me up. I was smiling as I walked – spontaneous and full of joy. The beauty of having time in nature. The last time I went away to the woods alone, I was called back in rage. The last time I went to the woods to be alone with my heart, it cost my children their father. The last time I sought to center and find my heart, I was denied. Screaming rage and blame. She wanted to love me in ways she could not sustain. I believed in her and suffered the consequences.

I am new me. I wish I could write the heart of my yearning. I wish I could write out the story of us. I am here with the remnants of the past in my heart and in their home. I am walking the hallways of yesterday with the feet of today.

I called and we talked. I don’t want this to be how things stay.

I am dangerously close to having hope.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s